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 I need a reality check ... I think.

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FleurDeLis
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PostSubject: I need a reality check ... I think.   Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:28 pm

I don't even know how to describe this or ask for opinions, bear with me as I ramble along.

I have been under an impression for a while now ... the impression resulted from synchronicities that I saw, or thought to see anyways. I have attributed that thus far to what I describe as indigoness, but maybe I'm just plain nuts.

If I get angry or desperate because I see a big fallacy, lie, or ... I generate this energy within me that oozes out of every pore; I can't contain it, believe me I've tried. That energy appears to have the capability to manifest my thoughts or feelings, "projecting" them onto others; affecting others in a way that suites my thinking/feeling. Strong positive thoughts/feeling seem to have a similar effect, but I'm not too concerned about that.

In relation to the "negative" thoughts/feelings:
Sometimes I wanna say that people don't have nothing to fear so long as I'm talking to them about whichever issue I perceive; my words may be charged or even hurtful, but they are just words. Once I retreat from talking cause it seems pointless it changes the odds because that energy within is getting rambunctious. Sometimes my target appeared to have a sudden change of mind, uttering my thoughts and adjusting their action accordingly. Other times people have become sick, ranging from upset stomachs to the point of heart attacks ...

Is this just happening in my mind? Can anyone relate? ... If not, please give me a reality-check.
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Smiley
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PostSubject: Re: I need a reality check ... I think.   Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:19 pm

To the point of heart attacks? Remind me not to piss you off. Razz

Could be psychological, though I do believe thoughts influence the physical reality. Everything is made of energy, even thoughts. You can freely mold your thoughts and manifest them into reality, impacting things directly or indirectly.

Personally, I don't think I've had any experiences as you've described. Then again, maybe I just haven't noticed.

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sovnd

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PostSubject: Re: I need a reality check ... I think.   Tue Oct 25, 2011 1:35 am

It's just chaos energy manifestations. I would never tell someone that in real life cause it makes me sound like a whack-job, but it is. I had a fair bit of trouble when energy was concentrating into similar situations where other people would become involved with violence or even become sick.. I don't "do" magick, but I'm very conscious of intention/manifestation now days. I don't believe in coincidence, however I'm not superstitious, if that makes sense..

http://www.chaosmatrix.org/library/chaos.php
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PostSubject: Re: I need a reality check ... I think.   Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:06 pm

Chaosmatrix wrote:
Here's my recent experience with real chaos magic.

A good friend of mine was in pain, and in an effort to lessen her pain, I "healed" her. Along the lines of an old post Lauranz made entitled Occam's Pot Scrubber, or something similar, I should more rightly say that she reported feeling less pain after I perceived an action on my own part.

We got into a discussion of how I do it. My answer didn't satisfy me, completely, because I'm overly analytical. I told her that I healed because I know it works. That's all.

No paradigm. No invocation. No visualization. I lay on my hands, and I concentrate on the knowledge that it Works, and it Works.

They call it Faith Healing.

I can analyze it. I really can. But my friend made an astoundingly concise and insightful statement that removes my desire to do so: she said, "Steve, it works because it's yours. You didn't read it in a book. It won't fail because you're not doing it Hine's way, or Caroll's way, it will work, because you're doing it your way."


Interesting, chaos magick is an accurate summary of what I do.

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PostSubject: Re: I need a reality check ... I think.   Tue Oct 25, 2011 9:31 pm

Smiley wrote:
To the point of heart attacks? Remind me not to piss you off. Razz

Could be psychological, though I do believe thoughts influence the physical reality. Everything is made of energy, even thoughts. You can freely mold your thoughts and manifest them into reality, impacting things directly or indirectly.

Personally, I don't think I've had any experiences as you've described. Then again, maybe I just haven't noticed.

I don't think you could piss me of all that much ... certain people are by nature off limits in that respect Wink.

I'm not sure this happens to everybody ... you may not suffer from that (you have progressed farther than I have though; it seems that way to me anyways ... perhaps this will pass eventually). I've had some others describe this phenomenon too, I just never had a place to really talk about it. I was very apprehensive about posting it here too, but eventually I thought "Fuck It, if they don't understand it here then nobody will" ...
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PostSubject: Re: I need a reality check ... I think.   Tue Oct 25, 2011 9:34 pm

sovnd wrote:
It's just chaos energy manifestations. I would never tell someone that in real life cause it makes me sound like a whack-job, but it is. I had a fair bit of trouble when energy was concentrating into similar situations where other people would become involved with violence or even become sick.. I don't "do" magick, but I'm very conscious of intention/manifestation now days. I don't believe in coincidence, however I'm not superstitious, if that makes sense..

http://www.chaosmatrix.org/library/chaos.php


Thank you for sharing that, it means a lot ... and yes, I feel like a whack-job talking about that too lol. Every since I noticed these "coincidences" I have paid more attention to my intent and how it might manifest; it curbed the incidences a bit ... at least the outcomes are less physical now and rather proactive.
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PostSubject: Re: I need a reality check ... I think.   Sun Feb 05, 2012 9:56 pm

Soooo .... for quite some time I controlled myself whenever I felt that sort of energy coming up; I calmed myself somehow out of fear to do harm. I still don't know if it's actually me who causes the harm or if it's just a form of synchronicity or something else. I don't exclude the possibility that I'm an egomaniac of sorts who thinks this is related to me when it really isn't ... ugh.
Anyhow, today it happened again or at least it seems that way. Somebody posted something on FB that really pissed me of and got under my skin. From my perspective, the post was disinformation and prayed on people's fears ... F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real. Without even thinking about possible consequence of my anger, I just let it flow ... I vented a bit but it really didn't take the edge of. When I logged back into FB about three hours later, the person in question had posted that she was suddenly not feeling well at all ... so unwell, in fact, that she went to see the doctor to rule out major health concerns.

... Am I nuts? ... shit!
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PostSubject: Re: I need a reality check ... I think.   Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:27 am

FleurDeLis wrote:
Soooo .... for quite some time I controlled myself whenever I felt that sort of energy coming up; I calmed myself somehow out of fear to do harm. I still don't know if it's actually me who causes the harm or if it's just a form of synchronicity or something else. I don't exclude the possibility that I'm an egomaniac of sorts who thinks this is related to me when it really isn't ... ugh.
Anyhow, today it happened again or at least it seems that way. Somebody posted something on FB that really pissed me of and got under my skin. From my perspective, the post was disinformation and prayed on people's fears ... F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real. Without even thinking about possible consequence of my anger, I just let it flow ... I vented a bit but it really didn't take the edge of. When I logged back into FB about three hours later, the person in question had posted that she was suddenly not feeling well at all ... so unwell, in fact, that she went to see the doctor to rule out major health concerns.

... Am I nuts? ... shit!

I am glad for you. If you need to talk message me.
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