Stuck with INFJ?!!

Ugh, I really wish I could change it sometimes, but it seems as if the nature of INFJ gets in the way of that. While it's kinda cool to be a 1percenter, It also means that 99% don't get me; it's bound to be frustrating.

How can I switch my introversion to extroversion? I heard that it's possible to adapt, I just happen to be clueless ... I don't know how to go about it.

What do you mean by introversion, and have you tried isolating aspects of your traits that strongly link to undesirable forms of introversion?

What is specifically bothering u causing the desire for extraverted traits???

Career wise, extroversion is the preferred trait. I struggle, for example, when I'm supposed to work in teams vs. working by myself, which is easy. Unless I feel really strongly about something, I'm unlikely to speak up in a group if I suspect that my view will not be well-received cause I don't want to fight about it (most people don't get what I'm saying, I can argue till I get cotton mouth syndrome without the proper weed intake).

FleurDeLis wrote:

Career wise, extroversion is the preferred trait. I struggle, for example, when I'm supposed to work in teams vs. working by myself, which is easy. Unless I feel really strongly about something, I'm unlikely to speak up in a group if I suspect that my view will not be well-received cause I don't want to fight about it (most people don't get what I'm saying, I can argue till I get cotton mouth syndrome without the proper weed intake).

This has nothing to do w extraversion
More resembles stage fright and fear of rejection
Intro/extraversion deals w how one gains/dispels energy
Introverted need alone time to recharge whereas extraverted people gain energy in group settings
You should just practice asserting your opinions
I sure as hell don't give a fuck what others think
Speak my mind as it behooves me
And I'm super introverted

I see ... never really looked at introversion that way; makes sense though.

How well do you do with teamwork as an introvert? Does the presence of other drain you? Do you like listening/compromising/collaborating? ... My last Prof insisted I need to up my teamwork skills and that is one drawback of INFJs; maybe it's more related to the J than the I, or maybe the F ... dunno.

FleurDeLis wrote:

How well do you do with teamwork as an introvert? Does the presence of other drain you? Do you like listening/compromising/collaborating? ... My last Prof insisted I need to up my teamwork skills and that is one drawback of INFJs; maybe it's more related to the J than the I, or maybe the F ... dunno.

I don't do well in groups at all.
I naturally have leadership energy, but people annoy me.
I'm a perfectionist and end up doing everything myself.
running my company, I learned better delegation skills, pretty good now

I work better alone, imagine Howard Hughes or something.

your best bet is not to adjust your personality to your work-- vice versa.

If you cannot adjust your work environment to maximize your innate skills and personality, I'd most likely recommend a different role, or if feasible, a completely different position/job or even industry; not sure what you do...?

you're going to burn out sooner or later if you're having to "be someone else" to do your job; i know

usually it might be easier to get creative with your roles and responsibilities to suit your lifestyle; maybe you're better fit to be the leader and you just need to become more assertive.

GenericTylerDurden wrote:

I don't do well in groups at all.
I naturally have leadership energy, but people annoy me.
I'm a perfectionist and end up doing everything myself.

^^^ That's me! 100%

Personally, I don't think I need this teamwork part to be as developed as my Prof suggests, but he got under my skin last semester. I study for international business management; I got leadership traits and all that down it's just the teamwork that I despise with a passion, it's just not my thing. I can delegate if I feel the people can take care of whatever I'm delegating, but working in a team ... nooo, hate it.

FleurDeLis wrote:

GenericTylerDurden wrote:

I don't do well in groups at all.
I naturally have leadership energy, but people annoy me.
I'm a perfectionist and end up doing everything myself.

^^^ That's me! 100%

Personally, I don't think I need this teamwork part to be as developed as my Prof suggests, but he got under my skin last semester. I study for international business management; I got leadership traits and all that down it's just the teamwork that I despise with a passion, it's just not my thing. I can delegate if I feel the people can take care of whatever I'm delegating, but working in a team ... nooo, hate it.

well why don't you just practice our management skills on the group, get them to do all the work while you piece it together, so pretty much you get to do nothing and have them turn in pieces of the project while you just sew it together at the end.

GenericTylerDurden wrote:

FleurDeLis wrote:

GenericTylerDurden wrote:

I don't do well in groups at all.
I naturally have leadership energy, but people annoy me.
I'm a perfectionist and end up doing everything myself.

^^^ That's me! 100%

Personally, I don't think I need this teamwork part to be as developed as my Prof suggests, but he got under my skin last semester. I study for international business management; I got leadership traits and all that down it's just the teamwork that I despise with a passion, it's just not my thing. I can delegate if I feel the people can take care of whatever I'm delegating, but working in a team ... nooo, hate it.

well why don't you just practice our management skills on the group, get them to do all the work while you piece it together, so pretty much you get to do nothing and have them turn in pieces of the project while you just sew it together at the end.

That would be my approach; Prof thinks it isn't good enough ... everybody should be an equal member of a team. That doesn't really makes sense to me in terms of management and leadership but the two are evolving. The authoritarian style is fading more and more, but a lack of the authoritarian style doesn't have to translate to equal teamwork imo.

i dont think you are an introvert

*wink* *wink* *wink*

... I like to think so, it's my safety blanket

I'm an INFP. I can be quite introverted, but there are a lot of times where I've asserted my extrovertedness(why does that remind me of pervertedness? lol), especially to people I'm comfortable with.

I prefer working alone but I will work in groups as well. I try to gauge where a convo is going when it comes to group work. If it's going good and it makes sense, I'll add a few things here and there. If it sounds stupid, I speak louder with clear thoughts and try organizing certain thoughts, making sure I let them know what it is I found useful and what I could see being done differently. I have leadership abilities, but I am much more comfortable at being someone's second in command.

BigMinnie wrote:

....extrovertedness(why does that remind me of pervertedness? lol)

Despite the fact that I'm usually rather introverted, I can be very assertive too. If the topic at hand matters to me, I tend to be outspoken about it. If I'm rather indifferent, I might refrain from saying anything unless I think my words could make a difference for the better.

It'd make more sense if you looked at it astrologically.

How so? ... Am I doomed to be stuck? lol

FleurDeLis wrote:

How so? ... Am I doomed to be stuck? lol

not at all. i've got your chart from a while back..
it looks like you want to be recognised for being a revolutionary in your field, even if it means destroying the old system and sacrificing yourself; you don't care. freedom and progressive attitudes are what matter.
does that sound right?

FleurDeLis wrote:

BigMinnie wrote:

....extrovertedness(why does that remind me of pervertedness? lol)

Despite the fact that I'm usually rather introverted, I can be very assertive too. If the topic at hand matters to me, I tend to be outspoken about it. If I'm rather indifferent, I might refrain from saying anything unless I think my words could make a difference for the better.

Very much the same :].

sovnd wrote:

It'd make more sense if you looked at it astrologically.

I tend to forget about that from time to time, but yeah. If you know what you're looking and how to read it, you'll get a solid reading. Me = so beginner lol.

sovnd wrote:

FleurDeLis wrote:

How so? ... Am I doomed to be stuck? lol

not at all. i've got your chart from a while back..
it looks like you want to be recognised for being a revolutionary in your field, even if it means destroying the old system and sacrificing yourself; you don't care. freedom and progressive attitudes are what matter.
does that sound right?

That sounds about right; the mission is more important than me .

BigMinnie wrote:

I tend to forget about that from time to time, but yeah. If you know what you're looking and how to read it, you'll get a solid reading. Me = so beginner lol.

I can't read them either; I just have subjective opinions on whether I like the linear constellations that are created on the chart .

FleurDeLis wrote:

sovnd wrote:

FleurDeLis wrote:

How so? ... Am I doomed to be stuck? lol

not at all. i've got your chart from a while back..
it looks like you want to be recognised for being a revolutionary in your field, even if it means destroying the old system and sacrificing yourself; you don't care. freedom and progressive attitudes are what matter.
does that sound right?

That sounds about right; the mission is more important than me .

while it is important there is always a nagging voice in the back of your head reminding you of your responsibilities at home, and without getting too deep there is some subconscious wound connected to this, maybe as far back as childhood but it's hard to say. I'd guess there is pressure to fit a mould, a mould that you can see flaws in. that's really where the discomfort is as well as the source of healing/change. i don't think you are suited to a job that is the same day in day out. you need something that's always evolving, that you can help to destroy and rebuild in a creative process. when it doesn't matter you're indifferent, it matters when you feel boxed in.

[quote="sovnd"][quote="FleurDeLis"]

sovnd wrote:

while it is important there is always a nagging voice in the back of your head reminding you of your responsibilities at home, and without getting too deep there is some subconscious wound connected to this, maybe as far back as childhood but it's hard to say. I'd guess there is pressure to fit a mould, a mould that you can see flaws in. that's really where the discomfort is as well as the source of healing/change. i don't think you are suited to a job that is the same day in day out. you need something that's always evolving, that you can help to destroy and rebuild in a creative process. when it doesn't matter you're indifferent, it matters when you feel boxed in.

That is so true!

As for the wounds ... yeas they are there and I'm awfully aware of it; it sucks sometimes, but I also draw great amounts of energy and will power from it.

I had to look this up because I'm not familiar with many types, but I did LOL..
In another thread I "went with my gut" in answering, it's like i directly channelled this page, but I've never read it before haha


The Protector


As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.

INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk.

INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.

But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.

Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.

INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring.

In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.

The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.

Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Introverted Intuition
Auxilliary: Extraverted Feeling
Tertiary: Introverted Thinking
Inferior: Extraverted Sensing

Yep ... that's me; the nice version thereof anyways lol ...